Terminator: Dark Fate made a stupid dumb idiot decision that single-handedly sunk this movie. They gave a certain character one hell of a “dark fate” during the first five minutes of the movie that is equivalent to James Cameron taking a piss on a DVD copy of T-2 while flipping the fans off and doing … Continue reading Terminator: Dark Fate – Movie Review
I've been slacking when it comes to movie reviews, so I'm just going to do 6 Even-Quicker Thoughts about some more movies I've seen. Ad Astra Ad Astra is a Brad Pitt space-flick that has a lot of really cool ideas, but it doesn't fully explore any of them and has an unbelievably underwhelming third … Continue reading Movie Review 6-Pack (Zombieland 2, Maleficent 2, The Addams Family, and 3 More!)
It (2017) means a lot to me. It was the first R-Rated movie I saw in theaters. I wrote an essay to convince my parents to let me watch it, and my mom reluctantly agreed to go with me. I'm really glad she did, because holy shit, that movie is so good! If I get … Continue reading It: Chapter Two – Quick Thoughts
Hobbes and Shaw is pretty much Mission Impossible II starring Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham. They are both spy thrillers that focus on trying to stop the bad boys from getting a virus that is contained inside the female lead. They both have an extra third act that feels tacked on and takes place on … Continue reading Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbes and Shaw – Quick Thoughts
I don't like writing stuff about Marvel movies. What is there to say? Far From Home was great! It's a well crafted and fun movie that treats the source material with care. The Mysterio mindfreak scene is perfection. When that sequence was over, my friend and I let out an audible "Awww." I wanted more, … Continue reading Spider-Man: Far From Home – Quick Thoughts
Annabelle Comes Home has some excellent spooks, but it lacks a purpose. At the end of the second act, I was having a good time with the movie. Then the movie ended. This movie's least scary and least inventive sequence is the climax. It feels super anti-climactic and jarring. Before this movie, there was an … Continue reading Annabelle Comes Home – Quick Thoughts
Child's Play (2019) is a completely different movie than the 1988 original. When I was a kid, my friend had watched all of the Chucky films and told me all about them. I was terrified. So when I finally watched Child's Play (1988) nearly a decade later, imagine my surprise when it was pretty much … Continue reading Child’s Play (2019) – Quick Thoughts
Is it good? No. Is it bad? Yeah. Is it THAT bad? No. Is this movie's existence useless and a bit insulting to fans of the series? A bit. Is it fun? Yeah. Kinda. It's just been done a lot better a lot of times. Does this format work well for reviews? Not at all. … Continue reading Dark Pheonix – Quick Thoughts
Brightburn is best enjoyed if you know what you're getting in to beforehand, 'cause this shit get nasty. It is a gnarly picture, but if you're into that, you'll have a pretty good time. Luckily for me, I love me some gnarly pictures! Some of the imagery in this movie is... muah! (Insert Chef Kiss … Continue reading Brightburn – Quick Thoughts
There is one line in this movie that sums up the entire movie's mindset. I don't remember it too well, so I'm paraphrasing here: "I know it might not make sense at first, but I assure you it does." This movie's dumb. I don't want to talk about it any more. 4/10
Movie Mort 