‘The VelociPastor’ Movie Review – It’s as Great as It Sounds

I've watched quite a bit of "so bad, it's good" movies in my day. I've watched the classics like The Room and Birdemic. I've watched lesser known dumpster fires like The Final Level: Escaping Rancala and Selfie Man. I've even watched a movie called OMG! I'm a Robot! And throughout all of these films, there … Continue reading ‘The VelociPastor’ Movie Review – It’s as Great as It Sounds

The Final Five Theater Experiences I Had Before They All Went Away (Very Sad)

So, I don't know if you've heard, but there's this virus thing going around. And not only is it potentially lethal, it's also  messing with my movie-watching vis-à-vis shutting down all the theaters. So if you're reading this, Covid-19... back the hell off! What you're doing here, it's not cool. Staying home from school and … Continue reading The Final Five Theater Experiences I Had Before They All Went Away (Very Sad)

My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 15-11

This is Part 2 of my PIXAR ranking. If you haven't read the first part, click this link. 15- Monsters University This is probably the hottest take of this ranking. Monsters University is near the bottom of nearly every ranking I see, and I totally get it. It's a safe, cliche, and forgettable movie. But … Continue reading My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 15-11

My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 22-16

I love PIXAR. So much. Nearly every one of their films have a level of creativity and heart that you can't find anywhere else. The amount of passion and detail that go into these flicks is bonkers. That passion inspired me. I don't know if I would love movies as much as I do now … Continue reading My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 22-16

February Movie Review 6-Pack (Call of the Wild, Sonic the Hedgehog, Horse Girl, Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon, and More!)

Horse Girl Horse Girl is a Netflix original film that begins as a quirky rom-com and ends as psychological horror. It stars Alison Brie (GLOW, Community, Bojack Horseman) as Sarah, a introverted lover of crafts, horses, and a Supernatural-esque TV show. Things are going pretty good for her, but that all changes when her wack … Continue reading February Movie Review 6-Pack (Call of the Wild, Sonic the Hedgehog, Horse Girl, Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon, and More!)

A Horse of a Different Color: “Bojack Horseman” Series Review

Bojack Horseman (or the Sad-Horse Show, as I call it) is a weird-as-hell adult animated television program about the washed-up star of a popular 90's sitcom called Horsin' Around. He's a humanoid horse, he's voiced by Will Arnett, he's mega depressed, and he's trying desperately to remain relevant. He lives in a colorful depiction of … Continue reading A Horse of a Different Color: “Bojack Horseman” Series Review

Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) – Movie Review

Uh oh! I've started to like DC movies more than Marvel movies! I've always liked the DC comics better, but they've gotten their ass whooped when it comes to movies over the last decade. But now we've had a streak of four great DC movies in a row, none of which are like any of … Continue reading Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) – Movie Review

MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

I've seen 119 movies that came out in 2019. Here are my Oscar Nominations. The real Oscars are tonight, but they got it completely wrong because it wasn't exactly my picks. Disgusting. My winners are bold, and my runnerups are slanty boys. BEST PICTURE I Lost My Body Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story Once … Continue reading MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

January Movie Review 6-Pack (The Gentlemen, The 40-Year-Old Version, Gretel and Hansel, and More!)

Uh oh! I slacked off again! Here are my quick thoughts on six flicks I saw in January, in order of how much I liked them. The Gentlemen After the incredibly successful 2019 Aladdin, director Guy Ritchie has returned to form and made a stylized shooty gun movie. Thank Hollywood Heaven for that, because this … Continue reading January Movie Review 6-Pack (The Gentlemen, The 40-Year-Old Version, Gretel and Hansel, and More!)

Bad Boys For Life – Shooty Shooty Movie Review

These boys did some shooting, and these boys did some cussing. MASTAPEECE! 10/10 PICTURE! That was, as said in Bad Boys For Life, a "little jokey-joke". Except for the first part. The boys do kill and swear. But it's far from MASTAPEECE status. This third entry in the Bad Boys franchise follows Mike (Will Smiff) … Continue reading Bad Boys For Life – Shooty Shooty Movie Review