Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) – Movie Review

Uh oh! I've started to like DC movies more than Marvel movies! I've always liked the DC comics better, but they've gotten their ass whooped when it comes to movies over the last decade. But now we've had a streak of four great DC movies in a row, none of which are like any of … Continue reading Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) – Movie Review

MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

I've seen 119 movies that came out in 2019. Here are my Oscar Nominations. The real Oscars are tonight, but they got it completely wrong because it wasn't exactly my picks. Disgusting. My winners are bold, and my runnerups are slanty boys. BEST PICTURE I Lost My Body Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story Once … Continue reading MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

January Movie Review 6-Pack (The Gentlemen, The 40-Year-Old Version, Gretel and Hansel, and More!)

Uh oh! I slacked off again! Here are my quick thoughts on six flicks I saw in January, in order of how much I liked them. The Gentlemen After the incredibly successful 2019 Aladdin, director Guy Ritchie has returned to form and made a stylized shooty gun movie. Thank Hollywood Heaven for that, because this … Continue reading January Movie Review 6-Pack (The Gentlemen, The 40-Year-Old Version, Gretel and Hansel, and More!)

Bad Boys For Life – Shooty Shooty Movie Review

These boys did some shooting, and these boys did some cussing. MASTAPEECE! 10/10 PICTURE! That was, as said in Bad Boys For Life, a "little jokey-joke". Except for the first part. The boys do kill and swear. But it's far from MASTAPEECE status. This third entry in the Bad Boys franchise follows Mike (Will Smiff) … Continue reading Bad Boys For Life – Shooty Shooty Movie Review

The Movie 'Dolittle' Made Me Want To Die – Movie Review

(Warning: More No-No-Words Will Be Used in this Review Than Usual) The very first advance movie screening I went to was for Mr. Peabody and Sherman in 2014. My dad worked at a newspaper then, and the movie reviewer couldn't make it to the screening, so he gave us his tickets. At that time, I … Continue reading The Movie 'Dolittle' Made Me Want To Die – Movie Review

Underwater – Wet 'N Wild Movie Review

Underwater is a claustrophobic horror film that takes place 7 miles underwater. (Jeepers, that’s the title!) If this came out in any other month, I’d be pretty excited for this flick. But it doesn’t. It came out in January, the shitty month where studios dump their shitty shit movies. There are some exceptions, (see Split) … Continue reading Underwater – Wet 'N Wild Movie Review

HBO’s Watchmen: Series Review

This show is ballsy. Not because of the amount of balls you see, or the dope risks it takes with its story, or even its fascinating and layered political statements, Watchmen is ballsy because of how un-ballsy it seems at first. Somebody could watch the first few episodes and assume that it’s just a pretty … Continue reading HBO’s Watchmen: Series Review