The Best Offering Each Streaming Service Has Offered To Us During Quarantine

With the current lack of theaters, we are forced to look to our small screens for entertainment. And where do we turn to for at-home entertainment? Streaming services. And each service has provided us with many offerings during these dire times. Some good, most bad. So I thought I'd let you know what the cream … Continue reading The Best Offering Each Streaming Service Has Offered To Us During Quarantine

‘The VelociPastor’ Movie Review – It’s as Great as It Sounds

I've watched quite a bit of "so bad, it's good" movies in my day. I've watched the classics like The Room and Birdemic. I've watched lesser known dumpster fires like The Final Level: Escaping Rancala and Selfie Man. I've even watched a movie called OMG! I'm a Robot! And throughout all of these films, there … Continue reading ‘The VelociPastor’ Movie Review – It’s as Great as It Sounds

The Final Five Theater Experiences I Had Before They All Went Away (Very Sad)

So, I don't know if you've heard, but there's this virus thing going around. And not only is it potentially lethal, it's also  messing with my movie-watching vis-à-vis shutting down all the theaters. So if you're reading this, Covid-19... back the hell off! What you're doing here, it's not cool. Staying home from school and … Continue reading The Final Five Theater Experiences I Had Before They All Went Away (Very Sad)

The Invisible Man (2020) Movie Review – A Horror MASTAPEECE!

In 2018, director Leigh Whannell blessed humanity with the beautiful and badass motion picture by the name of Upgrade. After that wonder of a film, I was an official Whannell Fanboy. Upgrade didn't make anywhere near as much as it should have, but that didn't matter much. Because my boy Whannell knows how to budget a … Continue reading The Invisible Man (2020) Movie Review – A Horror MASTAPEECE!

February Movie Review 6-Pack (Call of the Wild, Sonic the Hedgehog, Horse Girl, Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon, and More!)

Horse Girl Horse Girl is a Netflix original film that begins as a quirky rom-com and ends as psychological horror. It stars Alison Brie (GLOW, Community, Bojack Horseman) as Sarah, a introverted lover of crafts, horses, and a Supernatural-esque TV show. Things are going pretty good for her, but that all changes when her wack … Continue reading February Movie Review 6-Pack (Call of the Wild, Sonic the Hedgehog, Horse Girl, Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon, and More!)

Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) – Movie Review

Uh oh! I've started to like DC movies more than Marvel movies! I've always liked the DC comics better, but they've gotten their ass whooped when it comes to movies over the last decade. But now we've had a streak of four great DC movies in a row, none of which are like any of … Continue reading Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) – Movie Review

MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

I've seen 119 movies that came out in 2019. Here are my Oscar Nominations. The real Oscars are tonight, but they got it completely wrong because it wasn't exactly my picks. Disgusting. My winners are bold, and my runnerups are slanty boys. BEST PICTURE I Lost My Body Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story Once … Continue reading MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

Weathering With You – Incomplete Movie Review

Weathering With You is a strikingly beautiful and intensely relatable sophomore feature from director Makoto Shinkai about weather and love. Your Name, Shinkai's first film, is the highest grossing anime film of all time as well as one of the best reviewed movies of 2016. I haven't seen Your Name, because I'm an awful person, … Continue reading Weathering With You – Incomplete Movie Review

Underwater – Wet ‘N Wild Movie Review

Underwater is a claustrophobic horror film that takes place 7 miles underwater. (Jeepers, that’s the title!) If this came out in any other month, I’d be pretty excited for this flick. But it doesn’t. It came out in January, the shitty month where studios dump their shitty shit movies. There are some exceptions, (see Split) … Continue reading Underwater – Wet ‘N Wild Movie Review

HBO’s Watchmen: Series Review

This show is ballsy. Not because of the amount of balls you see, or the dope risks it takes with its story, or even its fascinating and layered political statements, Watchmen is ballsy because of how un-ballsy it seems at first. Somebody could watch the first few episodes and assume that it’s just a pretty … Continue reading HBO’s Watchmen: Series Review