The Final Five Theater Experiences I Had Before They All Went Away (Very Sad)

So, I don't know if you've heard, but there's this virus thing going around. And not only is it potentially lethal, it's also  messing with my movie-watching vis-à-vis shutting down all the theaters. So if you're reading this, Covid-19... back the hell off! What you're doing here, it's not cool. Staying home from school and … Continue reading The Final Five Theater Experiences I Had Before They All Went Away (Very Sad)

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My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 15-11

This is Part 2 of my PIXAR ranking. If you haven't read the first part, click this link. 15- Monsters University This is probably the hottest take of this ranking. Monsters University is near the bottom of nearly every ranking I see, and I totally get it. It's a safe, cliche, and forgettable movie. But … Continue reading My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 15-11

My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 22-16

I love PIXAR. So much. Nearly every one of their films have a level of creativity and heart that you can't find anywhere else. The amount of passion and detail that go into these flicks is bonkers. That passion inspired me. I don't know if I would love movies as much as I do now … Continue reading My Epic and Correct Ranking of the 22 PIXAR Films: 22-16

February Movie Review 6-Pack (Call of the Wild, Sonic the Hedgehog, Horse Girl, Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon, and More!)

Horse Girl Horse Girl is a Netflix original film that begins as a quirky rom-com and ends as psychological horror. It stars Alison Brie (GLOW, Community, Bojack Horseman) as Sarah, a introverted lover of crafts, horses, and a Supernatural-esque TV show. Things are going pretty good for her, but that all changes when her wack … Continue reading February Movie Review 6-Pack (Call of the Wild, Sonic the Hedgehog, Horse Girl, Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon, and More!)

A Horse of a Different Color: “Bojack Horseman” Series Review

Bojack Horseman (or the Sad-Horse Show, as I call it) is a weird-as-hell adult animated television program about the washed-up star of a popular 90's sitcom called Horsin' Around. He's a humanoid horse, he's voiced by Will Arnett, he's mega depressed, and he's trying desperately to remain relevant. He lives in a colorful depiction of … Continue reading A Horse of a Different Color: “Bojack Horseman” Series Review

MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

I've seen 119 movies that came out in 2019. Here are my Oscar Nominations. The real Oscars are tonight, but they got it completely wrong because it wasn't exactly my picks. Disgusting. My winners are bold, and my runnerups are slanty boys. BEST PICTURE I Lost My Body Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story Once … Continue reading MovieMort’s Academy Awards 2020: What The Oscar Nominations Would Look Like If They Were Correct

Weathering With You – Incomplete Movie Review

Weathering With You is a strikingly beautiful and intensely relatable sophomore feature from director Makoto Shinkai about weather and love. Your Name, Shinkai's first film, is the highest grossing anime film of all time as well as one of the best reviewed movies of 2016. I haven't seen Your Name, because I'm an awful person, … Continue reading Weathering With You – Incomplete Movie Review

I Lost My Body – Movie Review

I Lost My Body is a French animated romance film that heavily features a disembodied hand. I could not have been more excited. And it delivers. Tragically, most people associate animation with children's content. This is super sad, not only because these people are missing out on a lot of dope flicks, it's sad because … Continue reading I Lost My Body – Movie Review

Playmobil: The Movie – Movie Review

Yes, there is a Playmobil movie. Yes, it was released in theaters. Yes, I was the only one in said theater. Yes, it's a ripoff of the LEGO Movie. Yes, it is a gigantic critical and commercial failure. And yes, I kind of liked it. It's dumb, it's got some groaners here and there, and … Continue reading Playmobil: The Movie – Movie Review

Frozen II – Review

My friend and I walked into our Thursday night screening of Frozen II with grand expectations. The brilliant trailers promised an epic story with a darker tone and plenty of mystery. The fact that they announced an entire documentary series about the behind-the-scenes of this one movie seemed to confirm that this was something special. … Continue reading Frozen II – Review