Upgrade Movie Review: a Brutal and Bad-Ass Vision of the Future

I can't stop thinking about Upgrade. It is embedded into my mind like STEM is embedded into Upgrade's protagonist. STEM allows a man, (who I call Tom Hardy-ish) who was paralyzed in an attack from a high-tech gang that killed his wife, to walk again. It soon becomes sentient and helps Tom Hardy-ish find his … Continue reading Upgrade Movie Review: a Brutal and Bad-Ass Vision of the Future

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Once Upon a Deadpool Movie Review: A Chopped Up and Muddled Deadpool 2 that Remains Fun

Once Upon a Deadpool is weird. And not in the way I expected. It is a PG-13 version of Deadpool 2 portrayed as a storybook that Deadpool is reading to Fred Savage in a perfectly recreated set of The Princess Bride. That's weird. The weird that I didn't expect was the odd choices of censorship. … Continue reading Once Upon a Deadpool Movie Review: A Chopped Up and Muddled Deadpool 2 that Remains Fun

Ralph Breaks the Internet Movie Review: Ralph Breaks My Expectations

I love the first Wreck-It-Ralph, but I was worried when Disney revealed that the movie would be focused on the internet. It seemed like an unnatural and cash-grabby thing to do. But while watching the movie, it was obvious that this was the natural evolution of these characters, and the internet feels like the natural … Continue reading Ralph Breaks the Internet Movie Review: Ralph Breaks My Expectations

Shrek Retold: Witness The Strangest and Most Beautiful Thing to Grace the Eyes of Mankind

If you were wondering why depression rates dropped so rapidly on November 29 at approximately 8:00 Mountain Time, you've come to the right place. The reason the world was stuck in a happiness bubble for an hour and a half was the premiere of Shrek Retold. Shrek Retold is a scene-by-scene remake of the 2001 … Continue reading Shrek Retold: Witness The Strangest and Most Beautiful Thing to Grace the Eyes of Mankind

Harry Ranking Hullaballoo: All Ten Films in the Harry Potter Universe Ranked

Harry Potter will always have a special place in my heart. I started reading the books because my parents said I could watch the PG-13 ones if I finished them. The idea of viewing a scandalous PG-13 motion picture enthralled me, and I immediately picked up the first book at the library. I blew through … Continue reading Harry Ranking Hullaballoo: All Ten Films in the Harry Potter Universe Ranked

Creed II Movie Review: An Excellent, If Predictable Entry in the Rocky Series

This movie's greatest triumph is that, despite the seven prior Rocky and Creed movies, Creed II manages to feel fresh. The story mirrors Rocky IV in a way that feels natural and takes the characters in new and interesting directions. Unlike many sequels, Adonis Creed is the same person as when we last saw him. … Continue reading Creed II Movie Review: An Excellent, If Predictable Entry in the Rocky Series

The Crimes of Grindelwald Movie Review: The Latest Entry Into the ‘Wizarding World’ is a Magical Mess

When I walked out of The Crimes of Grindelwald, I was exhausted. The movie clocks in at 2 hours and 14 minutes, the exact runtime of the first Fantastic Beasts movie. Despite this, Crimes of Grindelwald feels much longer and bloated than it's predecessor. This is because of the overhaul of subplots that are sprinkled … Continue reading The Crimes of Grindelwald Movie Review: The Latest Entry Into the ‘Wizarding World’ is a Magical Mess