I Am Obsessed With Buying Forky Merchandise

The day was June 1, 2019. I was in Salt Lake City with my theater group during performance week. My good friend Ben and me walked passed the Disney Store during our lunch break. We had already eaten, so we had some time to kill. I said to Ben, “We will find us a friend in this store. We will not leave without a friend.” Strange statements like these were nothing new to Ben, and we entered the store. We looked around the fabulous store, spotting plenty of cool items, but there was only one that stood out to us. It was a stuffed Forky. I found the idea of a stuffed animal of a spork with crafting supplies applied to it humorous, and Forky’s character was the standout of Toy Story 4’s ad campaign, so I strode up to the cashier and purchased a Forky. We then went downstairs to join the others in the food court. We took the elevator, and I took a picture of Forky riding down with us. I displayed my new pal to the theater group, then proceeded to take more pictures of my good boy. It was after the picture I took near the City Creek river when Ben suggested an Instagram account for Forky Pics. Thus, @forky_aesthetics was born. I became dedicated to taking pretty pictures of my happy cutlery and my theater group supported me in full. That week was one of the arts, and Ben assisted greatly. We had many adventures, and we captured them in Forky Pics. After the show was over, the pic stream started to slow. I just didn’t have much inspiration for photo ops in the suburbs. Until June 17.

Me and the Boys were trying to find Ben so he could join our Lazy Boy Day. We did some detective work and found out that Ben went to the local Smiths. Now, the local Smiths is our Central Perk, our McLaren’s, our Cheers, etc., so we started walking there. We walked maybe three minutes before I got a call from Ben himself. He said that we must come quickly, for he has found a “Make Your Own Forky” kit. We hauled ass so hard, cartoon dust trailed us until we arrived. When we did arrive, we discovered Ben had sold this trip’s importance short. Not only was the Forky Kit there, but there was a whole display dedicated to Toy Story 4, and by association, Forky. We then did what any normal group of sane individuals would do and swept the store in order to find every piece of Forky merchandise available. Did I buy all of it? No. Did I buy most of it? Yes.

The obsession only got worse. During the very same evening, the Boys and I headed to the mall to meet a friend. The Forkys increased in quantity. I stopped by Walmart after work. The Forkys increased in quantity. I went to see Godzilla: King of the Monsters. The Forkys increased in quantity. This happened a lot. Then the movie came out. I invited both the Boys and some of my theater friends to the picture. I brought all of my Forkys. I also bought another one at the theater. When we sat down to enjoy the movie, we had ten Forkys to watch with us and Forky fruit snacks to munch on. Luckily, the movie was fantastic, and Forky was more endearing and scene-stealing then I could have ever imagined. So then it ended, right? The movie came out! The hype has died!

No. The hype will never die. The Forkys have increased in quantity, and they will never stop increasing! The current king of Forkys is the 32′ inch cardboard cutout that theaters put in their lobbies. I bought that on eBay. I feel like I should be on My Strange Addictions or something. I guess this addiction only harms my wallet. I could do worse. Until they inevitably come out with Forky Cocaine. Then I’m screwed.

Look me up at @forky_aesthetics or you can check out my pics here: http://picdeer.org/forky_aesthetics

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