Hellboy (2019) – Quick Thoughts

This movie, man. This movie’s something. I was extremely excited for this movie. The casting of David Harbour is inspired and that second trailer kicked ass. When the embargo dropped, and the nasty reviews started trickling in, I was worried, but I still had hope. It couldn’t be that bad, right? So I saw it opening weekend.

Was it as bad as the critics said?

Yes.

Was it an abomination of film-making and a perfect example of how not to make a movie?

Yes.

Would I have it any other way?

I wouldn’t dream of it.

Every scene in this movie is astonishing. From the narration that only appears in the very first scene, to the god awful lighting of the fight scenes, to the movies complete fascination with the word “fuck”, to the incoherent structure, to the characters giving off the feeling of hate-filled preteens forced to go on a field trip. I wouldn’t change a thing. I have no clue how this movie got made, and I don’t care. It is a mysterious entity indeed. If you were disappointed because you wanted a good Hellboy movie, I have great news for you: there are already two of them!

2/10

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